From a Promise to a Threat

The future is scary. Oh yes I'm only fifteen and I have a whole lot of it before me, and it is damn scary. Looking at schools is scary. Thinking about trying to find a real job is scary.

It's scary because I'm a hedonist and the idea of a life that I have chosen but that don't like is the worst thing I can imagine. I want my life to be good enough for me, whatever 'good' means. (Starving artist/full-time waitress? Works for me.) I only know what 'good' doesn't mean: having a job I despise, and being tied down with bad commitments. I don't want to screw myself over by getting myself into something I hate. I think it might just be a run-from-responsibility thing.

Anyways, I'm looking at applications for a Master of Arts in Journalism at Columbia University and all this reality just came crashing down on me. It also looks like my French isn't good enough to land me a page position in the House of Commons in Ottawa so I can get a BA at Carleton, either.

Why is real life so expensive?


Haylee said...

Edna, life seems 45x more expensive once you get a job and realize how long it takes to make the money you need.


Anonymous said...

I searched for "pretentious" and "blog", and sadly found you had taken the spot, so I may need to call my blog something else. But what's so pretentious about this though? I hear some very valid thoughts from a young person who wants the most out of life. Here is some free advice from a 52 year old father: savor and nurture all your loving relationships. Make good choices based on all your available knowledge. In order to do that you need to educate yourself, sleep well and exercise. And when things happen (because things happen) try make the most of it and don't have regrets for things that could have been. That's it (pretentious, I know;).

Anonymous said...

PS I forgot two very important things: eat well and make sure you reserve time for relaxation and reflection. Many young ambitious women stumble on this.

I had another look at your blog and am really impressed, you will surely do well (and money will come your way if that's what you really want). Just remember these little things.