les lignes

Dear Messieurs Straight Lines

I appreciate your helpfulness today but as of very recently, in this last panel, you have become nothing short of a nuisance to me. I would be in your debt should you choose to cooperate with me now. Elsewise I will have no other option than to terminate you permanently, and considering both our circumstances, this would be unfavourable for both you, and myself.

I have matters I would much rather attend to at this fine hour of the morning than putting you in your place, so once more I kindly ask for your cooperation in these issues.

Sincerely yours,
Edna

Stereotypes are Fun(ny)

I was born this way. I have some of the unfunniest genes and attributes around.

I'm Asian. So few Asians are funny. You know it, I know it. I'm also a girl. Ditto, as sexist as it may be. I'm saying it, though, so like my racist jokes, they're okay for me to say, not okay for you, if you're white and especially if you're a white man.

Now, not only am I a girl, but I don't have any redeeming comedic qualities that can come with being a girl, which are lesbianism and... being fat. It's not an insult. Lesbians are funny. Fat women are also funny, and not because they're fat. (On the other hand, fat men tend to be somewhat less humourous than their counterparts of athletic variety.) I also don't do drugs, which a large number of funny people seem to do. (see: Mitch Hedberg)

So there you have it, in a nutshell. I truly have one of the most horrendous groupings of qualities, if I want to be funny. And I do sometimes. So you should start appreciating what little my humour is worth, because considering my circumstance, I am doing pretty damn well.