So I was all like, "I haven't blogged in a long time. I wonder why."

And then my brain was like, "Duh. It's because nobody reads this crap. Why else? Your life is not very quaint or humorous, and nothing happens to you that is potentially anecdotal. Neither do you have a particular field of expertise on which you may divulge great secrets or behind-the-scenes dapplings of interest. Your daily going-abouts are of a mediocre quality so far as even an indie film about a mediocre teenage girl would evaluate."

Then I was like, "Wow, I must be so wasted."



World Religion 30
Answer two of the following questions, in paragraph form:

1. Compare and contrast the beliefs of two religions on the origins of the world/humankind, OR their beliefs on the afterlife.
2. Virtually all religions have in common a desire to bring peace and justice to humanity. Many of these same religions, however, have fallen short of these ideals. Using specific examples, discuss this problem.
3. What challenges face religion and religious beliefs as we are about to enter the new millenium? Use specific examples.
4. What do the major religions of the world have in common? In what ways do they differ? Discuss, using examples from at least two different religions.
5. Does God exist?


les lignes

Dear Messieurs Straight Lines

I appreciate your helpfulness today but as of very recently, in this last panel, you have become nothing short of a nuisance to me. I would be in your debt should you choose to cooperate with me now. Elsewise I will have no other option than to terminate you permanently, and considering both our circumstances, this would be unfavourable for both you, and myself.

I have matters I would much rather attend to at this fine hour of the morning than putting you in your place, so once more I kindly ask for your cooperation in these issues.

Sincerely yours,


Stereotypes are Fun(ny)

I was born this way. I have some of the unfunniest genes and attributes around.

I'm Asian. So few Asians are funny. You know it, I know it. I'm also a girl. Ditto, as sexist as it may be. I'm saying it, though, so like my racist jokes, they're okay for me to say, not okay for you, if you're white and especially if you're a white man.

Now, not only am I a girl, but I don't have any redeeming comedic qualities that can come with being a girl, which are lesbianism and... being fat. It's not an insult. Lesbians are funny. Fat women are also funny, and not because they're fat. (On the other hand, fat men tend to be somewhat less humourous than their counterparts of athletic variety.) I also don't do drugs, which a large number of funny people seem to do. (see: Mitch Hedberg)

So there you have it, in a nutshell. I truly have one of the most horrendous groupings of qualities, if I want to be funny. And I do sometimes. So you should start appreciating what little my humour is worth, because considering my circumstance, I am doing pretty damn well.



So I have a new Macbook Pro. I'm going to tell you some of the things I love about my Macbook Pro.

- It is a lot prettier than my old one. In every way possible.
- It is a laptop, and just so much nicer and more fun.
- Leopard? It's a little hard to get used to so far, but it is also ultra-bitchin'.
- 2.53 GHz, GeForce 8600 GT graphics card and 250 GB hard drive. It's a big step up. You have no idea.

- It comes installed with HELVETICA. This is only awesome if you're awesome and into fonts like I am.


The Androgyny Dilemma

I want to find somebody who wants a boy for a girlfriend.

This wouldn't be a problem if I were a lesbian. But it turns out life works in mysterious ways, and I'm not. I think my best bets are bi- or pansexuals, or extremely confused gay men.


The First Malkovichian

It's the new philosophy. Like Machiavellism. Except Malkovichism. Followers of John Malkovich. Living lives in fervent support of the death penalty and speaking in soft girly dulcet tones.

I get the weirdest dreams, but the great thing is that even though I don't understand them, they've been generated from my head and they're awesome. So naturally this means I'm awesome. Mm, the things I come up with when I'm just trying to fit in six hours or so.